alone,
October, face in clouds lit by the moon
August:
salt water down my throat
choke
on wet heat at night-- soft skin that’s been sundrenched
November, she writes:
“you became that for me, mixture of image/memory”
ribbon of sleep
slips through my hand
four I’ve hurt this year; am I who I am?
not as frail as you think;
you’ll break me
opaque and weak
you'll break me; we’ll break me
April I wrote you, only person I got back to
opaque and weak
you’ll break me; we’ll break me
lying in bed, I find an egg
I hold it to the light and see its insides
they're still there somehow beneath a pale shell that should’ve been broken by now
things like you don’t last too long
look at what the arborists have done
I’ve got no limbs, I cannot hold a thing
I wish you could’ve seen me back when I was strong
This tree is no place for an egg to find it’s home (no place like this)
things like you don’t last too long
far away I climb a hill
make my way up a cement tower
where bad kids in uniform
smoke cigarettes and write curse words
you ask me to write to you
instead I sing this song
but not loud enough to makes its way
across an ocean or a field
you write
but not fast enough
to catch me
before I come home
Drowse is the work of Portland, OR artist Kyle Bates.
Following an EP and LP, "Memory Bed" was largely written and recorded using one microphone, a laptop and an acoustic guitar during a Summer spent working in Zamora, Spain. While traveling, Bates found himself returning to the dark sounds from around his home for inspiration--music of the Pacific Northwest such as Grouper, Mount Eerie, Velvet Cacoon, and Unwound. Organs and synths ooze from crackling guitars, noise groans in the distance and swallows voices; the sound mirrors the feeling of wandering unfamiliar landscapes, both outside and internally. Drowse also co-wrote two songs on Miserable's "Uncontrollable" LP ("Stay Cold" and "Salt Water").
"Memory Bed" plays with themes of detachment and memory and their relationship to the "self" from the perspective of someone who has suffered dissociative experiences. Heavily influenced by writers like Roland Barthes and Sarah Manguso, drowse works with ideas of “the self as text”, “making the personal public” and allowing space for the paradox to create new meaning. Maya Stoner of Portland band Sabonis lends her voice to every song and contributes lyrics to “Memory”. Her lyrics reflect on experiences with Bates; these lyrics are refracted in the song “Break”. “i” continues to explore the topic with the intent of all drowse recordings: to glimpse the unknowable self, to express the inexpressible through sound.
credits
released August 5, 2016
Written and recorded by Kyle Bates summer and early fall 2015 in the basement on Killingsworth, Zamora and Barcelona, Spain and houses off of Sacramento street in NE Portland. Maya Stoner wrote the lyrics for “memory”.
Maya Stoner sang on “break” and “memory”, her voice is sampled on “i”.
Alec van Staveren played bass on “break”.
Mastered by Parker Johnson.
Film and digital photography and video work by Maya Stoner and Kyle Bates.
Design and layout by Julio Anta.
I would again like to thank people and things directly involved with the content of drowse as a project up to this point: Alec van Staveren, Kevin Gwozdz (Desert of Hiatus), Parker Johnson (Italics, Wagner) and Taylor Malsey (Taylor M., Being Awone) for your creative, constructive criticism and unwavering support, and for helping me perform this music--my sister, mother and father--Maya Stoner for your inspiration, art, incredible voice and love--Clonazepam--Bella Tsefalas--Julio Anta for releasing this--Tuesday Faust--Daniel Schultz for releasing soon asleep---Dulce Membibre--dreams--Phil Elverum and your shadow--Mat Miller for releasing songs to sleep on--Rachele Mosley--my journal--Dani Ransom--dad’s acoustic guitar--Kristina Esfandiari, Thom Wasluck and Nicole Colbath for your sustained support and collaboration--melancholy--selective memory.
Kelp speaks to me. Sad and experimental like Drowse. Musical freedom. I teared up during the chorus of "Falter" while watching them play last week: "you are changed." drowse
August creates slow, warm songscapes. He has released a wild amount of albums since starting the project last year and I'm in awe of his work ethic. Also, my friend Alex from Sprain plays on this. drowse
Portland shoegaze that plays, as the best representatives of the genre do, with huge, hollow atmosphere against intimate observations. Bandcamp New & Notable Nov 23, 2016